i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
