But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
