that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
