A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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