I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
