Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
