problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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