I accidentally burped into my bong.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
