I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
