This dress was meant to end up on your floor
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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