So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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