Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
