Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
