Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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