So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Soap is not a condiment
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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