It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
