Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Panties = found
Randomize
