where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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