Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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