I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
