the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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