I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I didn't notice because vodka
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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