shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
