making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
