She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
