Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
false alarm, still single
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
