How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
