All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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