The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
