Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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