The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
