that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
