Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
