I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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