if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
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Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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