I need help removing her.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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