Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
