Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
