if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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