Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
