She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
