I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
