we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
