you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
