All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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