yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
