Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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