Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
