this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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