Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize