Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
