Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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