Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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