I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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