ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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