I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
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