some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize