Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
