i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
