break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
