Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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