Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
